Welcome to The Ferm

This post officially pops the cork, pulls the tab, or cracks open that bottle on our new drinking related blog, The Ferm. If you googled us and expected to see expert reviews, hosted events, or even speel checkd material, well... uhh... stick around anyway! Sign up for our feed, comment on a post, send us a tweet, or just enjoy our blatherings silently like the internet troll you are because we are glad to have you. If you enjoy drinking, or even fashion yourself as somewhat of a connoisseur (no matter how pedestrian), I think you will find us worthy of a bookmark or an RSS subscription.

This post is not meant to be a blueprint or mission statement for The Ferm (we will have exactly zero point zero readers when this post goes live). The future of The Ferm probably includes information on various adult beverages. You will probably find thoughts on wineries, breweries, distilleries, or bars that we've encountered and thought noteworthy. The core of The Ferm will probably cover the minutiae of life and/or adult beveraging (and hopefully a few made up words along the way). Still on the fence? How about... The Ferm is a Seinfeldian blog with drinking being our Tom's Restaurant.

Since this is the first post, I suppose a quick introduction of the cast of characters is in order. I think you will find that what we lack in smarmy know-it-alls, we excel in diverse expertise and cyber-personality. This is a blog on the interwebs, so I don't feel the need to do any formal introductions of the cast of characters. In fact, one's internet alter-ego is much better described by one's self anyway... wouldn't one say? In the interim, here are some almost maybe factual descriptions of the bloggers that you may see at The Ferm from time to time.

SirRon - When I'm not out curing cancer, saving the environment, or watching my wife take care of him or her, you'll often find me in front of the TV drinking researching. I'll be dropping that knowledge somewhere between the title and the comment section of my posts.

K-Dub - Have you ever had a cousin that you would sleep with if it wouldn't be frowned upon by quote, unquote, society? Kyle is that cousin.

Kirby - We were childhood friends who were serendipitously reunited just before finishing college. I hope I'm not wrong about this statement, but I'm pretty sure either of us would take a bullet for the other. Now that I think about it, I'm much more likely to be in a situation where a bullet would need to be taken when I'm hanging out with him, but I think he'd take one for me nonetheless.

J.R. Ewing - Hands down the smartest rocket scientist I know. He also happens to be a walking sports almanac. Let's just hope he has as much about NASA up in his dome as he does facts about how many losses the Longhorns had in 1987.

Leslie - I met Leslie when I was seven years old. We've been hanging out ever since.

TwoPints - A day in the life: Wake up, get ready before the kids get up, get the kids ready, take the kids to day care, go to work... think about the kids... pull the kids pictures up on the computer, pick up the kids, get the kids ready for bed, put the kids to bed, drink, sleep and dream about the kids. She loves those little meximelts.

I am going to tie a bow on this first post by giving Joe blog reader a little taste of what he may find here at The Ferm.

What you will not find at The Ferm: The phase "Here in the blogosphere"
What you will find at The Ferm: An occasional rhyme
What you will not find at The Ferm: Posts that will change your world
What you will find at The Ferm: Posts about mostly nothing
What you will not find at The Ferm: Complicated metaphors
What you will find at The Ferm: Like... similes
What you will not find at The Ferm: Boring, stuffy, elitist posts
What you will find at The Ferm: Content concepts that didn't really pan out

Now I'm not a betting man, but I think the odds are pretty good that our readers grow after this post. I'm just saying.